Kundalini pt. 2

As soon as the music told me to let go, I was ready 🍴I fell into the trance, all from breathing in and out, in and out, repeatedly. It felt like I was deeply meditative and inside my body, wandering around, looking for the the parts that were stuck and old. I really had no sense of time during this, I was really into it! Side note: i’m an avid meditator. Its something that I need to do on the daily because it helps me so much. Falling into this meditative trance has been easier and easier the more I practice, and I think i’ve got it down! which acutally helped me during this experience..

So as i’m laying there, I started to feel like a ZAP feeling on my scar. Before we did this, I had told Andrea that I wanted to focus on this scar from a childhood surgery that I should have never gone through & left me with lymphadema on my right leg. (Hence why I’m so against a lot of western medicine 😁) I know that theres a lot of trauma held in that area, but to be honest, I kinda forgot that I made such a big point about it. When I felt the zap feeling it made me come back to consciousness, and I opened my eyes, and saw that she was over my scar with a pendulum! I could not believe I really felt this stone on my scar, and that was the first moment when I was like wow! I really do feel things happening..

From there she told me to relax, and continue focusing on breathing. My breathing was not just any ordinary breathing. I was breathing HEAVILY. My inhales were deep through my stomach, and my exhales were deep through my throat and verbally. She wanted to hear my exhale, my release. So I kept excentuating the exhale through my throat. This started to create a vibration throughout my body. After a while I started to build this vibration and it became more consciously apparent that my body was vibrating. I slightly woke up from my meditative state and really felt the vibration in my hands and feet. It was another moment of wow, I think this is working..

I continued breathing and exhaling energetically, and I started to get very emotional all of a sudden. I started feeling super overwhelmed and serious sadness filled my head. Andrea took notice and started encouraging me to continuing breathing and working through it. TEARS WERE RUNNING, let me tell ya. It was a full body experience. Although I feel like I still couldn’t quite grasp what was coming up. After a few minutes it did pass, and I stopped crying, and felt this big relief. I opened my eyes and thought we were done 😂 Andrea encouraged me to continue focusing on my breathing..

So I did just that. I feel like after the first mini experience, I started to understand what was going on. From my exhale and vibration gaining more and more momentum, it was shaking things out of stagnancy, and pushing them up through each chakra. I started to understand this new awareness of my body, like a whole new perspective.

So I began again with my breathing. I almost felt like the awareness I found, made it more difficult the second time around because I was aware of it now? Idk if that makes sense, but once I fell into it, my awareness would come back bc I would realize I was aware of this new awareness 😅 my mind playin tricks on me now lol our brains are really a funny thing… but I think understanding our bodies and the more you do these meditative excercises, the better you get at tapping into it.

And I also knew I could do it now. So I started again. Before I knew it, I fell deep into my body as I continued this rhythm of breathing. All of a sudden I started to feel really emotional again. (Side note: I am a huge feeler and a lot of times I feel things so much but cannot understand them logically, I’m very much in my body 😂 so I think something I will learn in the future is to connect my mind and body into a better balance, so I can really understand these traumas coming up for me instead of just feeling them and then ~releasing.

Anyways, tears started flowing and it started to get more intense. I think it was the intensity and it reaching my throat that made me “wake up” It was just too much for me to get it through my throat, I couldn’t keep the vibration going ☹️ I remember waking up a bit and looking at andrea and kinda like “help mee” I need an extra push, I felt… but then I was just done.

And that was okay. I was proud of myself for even tapping into it! After that, Andrea slowed down everything and I went into deep meditation. It was SO nice! You know that deep meditation that just feels like pure * bliss * ?! ahhhh that was it! integrating everything, feeliing my body without the intense breathe, and just taking a second to go through the whole experience one more time. After a few minutes I had some really hard feelings come up again! Now that I think about it, there was no momentum in my body pushing it out, so I kinda just sulked in this thought for a while. Then all of a sudden I just stopped crying and opened my eyes haha it was like a sudden “okay, that’s it”.

All in All, I think I was ready for this experience and will definenlty do this again soon.. I felt more clarity after, really relaxed and not so on edge about things.. I felt more in the moment. I’m so interested in my subconscious and really figuring out who I am right now, and really living with full conscious embodiment of myself. I think theres a lot that i’ve uncovered, but also a lot more really deep things that I still want to confront and get to know, so I can own them and heal them. It’s all such a story at the end of the day, but this was an experience I would recommend for anyone looking to heal energetically and body awareness!! ❤️❤️

Would you ever be interested in doing something like this? Is this weird or scary to you? Are you aware of your body and the intelligence it holds? Comment below, all questions wanted :)

If you are interested in this experience and want more information, I would LOVE to put you in contact with Andrea. Her ability to help and deepen peoples awareness to their own energy and body is profound, not to mention this is totally her passion!! ♥️ Give her a follow and a dm @andrea_angelina_wolf on instagram

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my FIRST kundalini experience.. pt. 1

I have always had a very strong intuition since I was a child, and was pretty much always a free spirit! But in 2018, things got WILD.. spiritually. I’m not sure if its because I was meditating day/night and something opened up in my brain, which opened up my world? OR maybe it was what astrologers would call, my “Saturn return”? I really question this often!! I actually had an uber driver, when I was in my early 20s, tell me that my late 20s were gonna be really special times lol I still dont know what the answer is to why my years of age 27-29 were just magic! maybe you do ?

The beginning of 2018 felt a little different, nothing too out of the ordinary- although I was in the middle of turning all of my Swiss Citizenship papers in. And the end of February was really when things took off. I remember it was over a span of a week, and three of the biggest events in my life had taken place. Overwhelmed was an understatement! The first event was moving out on my own, and moving in with 4 boys in Long Beach, which was really the best time of my life thus far. (I warned you, I am a very freee spirit! lol) The second was in the sector of work, and I booked my first celebrity client. To this day, I still can remember how nervous I was! And the last major event, was my interview at the Swiss Consulate for the last step of my Swiss Citizenship process. Craziest part, was that I only had a month and a half to study for it, and you bet my a$$ was at the cafe making flash cards every night in between all these other huge events...

So yea, after the end of February that whole year was pure magic and my life sped up massively. Things just kept moving! Work, opportunities, travels, memories, synchronicities.. And I guess my self development did as well. Overcoming all of these scary and major opportunities, I really grew a sense of self and like I have figured out the tools to do literally anything. It was a pretty powerful time for me, and I can go way more in depth with it, but that deserves a whole other post!

So my background with spirituality was already pretty fueled before I got into doing this Kundalini experience. I kinda knew what it was, but not fully, and I actually thought it was something more sexual now that I think about it lol i’m also already a pretty private person with certain parts of myself, and Kundalini did seem a bit overwhelming and intense. I met Andrea, my friend and Kundalini teacher, by pure coincidence. She reached out to me via email for a hair appointment, meanwhile served me during our email exchange at a cafe in Zurich, later to realize we had already met days before during her hair appointment. OH, and we also both share the SAME bday. ( coincidence & crazy? I agree!). We def clicked on spirituality convos and she told me she does Kundalini and that we should have a session… I was easily curious. Moving to Switzerland, I had a lot of intention of healing and coming back to my authentic self here, so I knew this was all part of what I put out to the universe! 🙏🏻

It was a rainy morning and I had a long train ride from Luzern to see her. I walked in to her lovely flat and it was an instant vibe check, Andrea just has this strong gift of feeling and empathy, and she instantly calmed me down from my hectic morning over tea and cacao that she had brought back from Tulum. I told her I was a big baby with new things, that I am nervous about whatever I was about to get into, and that I literally had noooo clue what to expect. She told me its going to be great and that she won’t go too hard, and brought me up the stairs to a cozy, safe set up she made with tons of pillows and blankets, really good music, and some Sage/Palo Santo burning.

I fully trusted her with this whole process, but the beginning was really tough for me. After grounding ourselves with tea & cacao, we started getting the hang of belly breathing. That’s where your whole body is completely relaxed and your breathe is strictly through the belly. I have soooo much tension in my shoulders/neck, so this was difficult for me to not move my upper body. The breathing started to get deeper, and breathing out was starting to really work the throat.. This is where I was very much struggling . I think the biggest part of healing, and also why it can be so challenging (for me at least), is because theres a major part of surrendering to that thing that is stuck and needing attention. My throat and throat chakra have always been a place in my body that reacts when stressed as well. The surrendering part was in the breathing out, and I just couldn’t quite fully let myself go. Andrea kept pushing me a bit, saying things like.. “It’s okay to let go” & “let it out” so lovingly and calmly 😭 and also kept accentuating the breathe out with her hand on my throat. But I still was holding on. I can pretty much cling to something until I kill it- no joke, its the stubborn bull in me. I am the biggest clinger I know lol but the truth of what was keeping me tight locked was that I was embarrassed of showing myself, and the fear of what would happen if I did let myself go and not have control any longer..

Once I realized in my head that that was the reason why, it felt so small. I was like okaaaay, at some point, I have to figure this out, and stop wasting time. Plus, this is what I came to do! I naturally focused more on getting into the music and moving my hips, and like magic, the song literally said “Let go”. I opened my eyes and looked at Andrea, and very excited shouted “did you hear that ?!?!”. I felt safe and protected in that moment, like someone from above directly told me, positively, “Let go”, and thats just what I did…. :)

Have you ever had a moment of big release? or how about big relief? relief is quite literally one of the best feelings in the world… tell me about it below, or if you are interested in this story, give me a like! :)

**Disclaimer!! If you are thinking about doing Kundalini or any type of energy work, I would please make sure that you fully trust the person and go to someone professional. This work is very sacred and works with deeper layers of your subconscious and energy field! It’s incredibly deep and transformative, and all of this work should be kept in an honest approach ❤️

Childhood Reminders 💕

We are on the way to Milan today, and I just found out that a radio legend from Los Angeles passed, his name was Art Laboe. RIP 🕊 I really feel like this is the end of an era with his passing and my childhood growing up with oldies, lowriders and happy, simple times 💔 I had a really unique childhood. As I am currently realizing that it was filled with quite a bit of trauma, there was a lot of very cool, valuable and beyond special parts of it! Growing into a family of music and entertainment self made entrepreneurs made originality and business exciting!! It was also always a good time, which I think had a negative side too, but it also kept the ball rolling which was a positive. My dad took me to concerts where his artist would play, and I got to go to Wango Tango like every year. I was around music legends that were following their passions and love for music, but also dealing with the business side. It was expansive and I learned so much being around different cultures, people, types of music, etc. I feel like these lessons set me up for the big world of fashion and being able to work in an environment handling different types of people and coming together for the purpose of making something into reality. It scares me seeing all of this overly sensitivity these days… I feel its tuning out and canceling important matters of Life, reality and truth, authenticity, and turning everything into one way. This is no bueno. We need to stop running to canceling and extreme sensitivity and also learn to embrace different realities, take responsibility, and learn how to cope!! Theres so much beauty in the differences and owning who you are.

These were the beautiful parts of my childhood, even through all the lessons and trauma. I feel really lucky when I reminisce on this side. I am really lucky for the things I have gotten to experience and the knowledge I have gained from it! What are some of your best childhood memories? I would love to know!

La Musica 🎶

I recently watched this podcast of Dj Real Black Coffee talk about his music, and how he uses it as a healing outlet for himself and his fans. Im very intrigued at all the new avenues that are available for healing these days and music is a huge, everyday one for me, so I figured I would write a post sharing my appreciation to my life long connection with music. Also my family history with music Is just so dang cool..

My grandpa on my dads side, Arthur Walker, was born and raised in Liverpool, UK. Now for starters, Liverpool is where record shops were first created, also where the Beatles grew up, and a great deal of amazing musicians and music came and still come out of this magical city, that I have YET to visit… My grandpa migrated West when he was in his 20s to pursue bigger dreams and explore more of this big, yet tiny world. He first landed in Ontario, Canada where he met my Grandma; they quickly relocated to Los Angeles to become famous movie stars.. Theres a lot to my grandpas history that I still have yet to put together and get more information about because he died when I was 1. I really wish I got to meet him and ask him sooo many questions, sometimes on my days of struggling here (in this new country and move), ill strike up a convo with him and just say hey. I find it so interesting that I am kinda set out on a similar journey than his, yet just the opposite direction ❤️ and in a way I feel his presence and connection at times when I reach out…

After landing in California, my grandma opened up her own record shop called Norwalk Records and my grandpa quickly started his own record label and had a warehouse in Fresno, California. He would work swap meets and was a bonafide hustler/ MC for local radio stations. Working in the music scene up in Northern California, my grandpa came across a fresh new Mexican Mariachi band, and soon helped found the band, Los Tigres Del Norte- one of the most tradional, authentic Mexican bands to this day. If you ask any hispanic person if they know Los Tigres, they would literally ask you “Eres tu loco??” bc this band is rooted in Mexican culture. Los Tigres used their music to speak about the hardships of being a Mexican immigrant in America, drug trade, family, and life back then. They really had this deep musical connection with their fans, it was a moment in Mexican history. The fact that my grandpa saw this them from the very beginning kinda blows my mind. I feel like he saw real musical talent in a genre so outside of what he was aware of, and I just think that is SO cool..

Music is and will always been one of the biggest outlets for me.. It’s gotten me through some pretty tough times, opened my mind up, brought feeling and creativity, taught me more about myself, connected me with people, and even talks/ guides me at times. That last one probably sounds a bit crazy to some, but I swear some of the songs/lyrics that come on my shuffle really connect deeply in the moment. I feel so lucky to have this appreciation for such a powerful tool, and will always cherish this gift passed down to me..

What’s some of your favorite music? Genres? Artists? Tell me in the comments, I always love music recs :)

Empathy & Magic

Idk maybe its because I am transitioning to another country/culture, but i’m seeing how mentally flexible we are as humans, and it makes me feel more connected to this world. I feel tremendous feelings when I listen and watch on the news that humans of other cultures are going through world history trauma. Do you too? A part of me feels like maybe i’m feeling too much ? But I think that’s what society wants us to think. It’s scary! The depth that is. Especially when everyone is so disconnected and has perfected numbing themselves. I feel like the odd one out and now the “brave” one when it just feels like the normal ((yet extremely difficult)) thing to do.

I think we have to come to terms that our “fears” are in a certain way, just a distraction. We can overcome the trauma and fears now. It is here! This opportunity has came! Be grateful bc its huge.

Have you noticed the amount of healing taking place? This new concept is spreading like wildfireee. The concept is happening mentally, physically, and spiritually around the world- to humans in places of poverty to humans that are from well respected backgrounds, and everyone in between. We are finding out so much more information, and ways to heal deeper on all 3 levels. It’s a new world the level of health we can achieve now. I believe there is no coincidence to this. I believe that this is happening because of this global shift that has occurred recently. I’ve seen it in beauty- with peoples glow ups and the “new, healthy version” resonating physically that they look like a new personl! i’ve seen it in babies, and how they are way more advanced from an earlier age. and i’ve experienced it during a very special time myself, but thats for another post ;)

All I ask is… take a moment everyday for the next 30 days to stop & look within. You deserve true health too, and the ability to move past the daily pains you carry/ have been carrying. Dont be afraid either, the world of possibilities has arrived and ain’t leaving, its just gonna spread like wildfire ❤️

In the comments below, let me know if I’m crazy or you too have gone through a change or shift lately?